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Jesse Brune-Horan

Family and the Inner Voice

January 22, 2018

A few years ago, I did something to improve my intuition. I stopped listening to music, watching shows and spending time on social media.

 

Little by little, I learned to differentiate my intuition from fear and doubt. A week in, I started feeling and hearing my intuition, in varying degrees, at unexpected times. 

 

One morning, that voice was so loud that it made me sit up, in bed, in my Weho apartment. I longed to be under a tree from my childhood in India. ‘Man! It’s been twenty years,’ I thought. That voice led me to give my one-year-notice at work. With hesitation, I gave my notice that same day, not knowing where I was headed, just knowing that I wanted to go back to that tree. 

 

When I broke the news to my parents, who had moved back to India, after retiring from Kuwait, they asked, ‘What do you plan on doing?’ I talked and they seemed excited. 

 

I had planned on not dating during this time. Three months in, something developed with someone I had known for a year. I explained my plans and why things couldn’t get serious. He said ‘I just ask that you keep your heart fully open to me. If things are meant to be, we’ll figure it out.’ I knew that there was something special about Parks but him saying that moved something in me. That voice again! Asking me to let him in. 

 

Things did get serious and a few months later I told my parents that I was bringing my boyfriend, to meet the family. My dad said, ‘If you bring him, you can’t stay with us.’ 

 

That conversation got heated quickly. Silence from my parents followed. 

 

When my mom finally did text back she asked me to apologize to my dad. That voice again! Telling me to send a text. I can’t remember what the text said but my fingers moved and typed things that seemed to be coming from someplace else. 

 

My mom texted back and said, ‘You have done the right thing and I’m with you.’ I knew I had allies in my family but I didn’t know (till later on) the extent to which they were working to make my dad understand. My aunts, uncles, brother and cousins had conversations with my dad. 

 

During it all, I also got calls from them to reconsider my decision. My dad was really down and depressed. He was now on blood-pressure medicine and sleeping pills. 

 

The reason I didn’t waver was because I know the love and acceptance my dad is capable of. I just held on to that vision of him. 

 

I ended up bringing Parks to Delhi and we ended up staying at an AirBnB. My dad eventually came around. As our stay at the AirBnB ended, he invited us to stay in their guest bedroom.

 

Needless to say, my extended family and parents ended up loving Parks. And I did end up seeing that tree.

 

 

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