There Is Only One Of Us

It was night and I was standing in front of a window looking at my reflection staring back at me ruminating over a recent uncomfortable social encounter when 6 very important words filled my troubled mind, “There is only one of us.” Instantly the walls between me and this person fell flat and I knew I had just been gifted with insight that would become the culmination of my lifetime of disconnection.

As a kid, I wasn’t allowed to have friends. The family that rejected me, would not allow me to be accepted by others which fostered for me an isolation and separation that I will never be able to put into words. In his book “The Power of Kindness” Pierro Ferrucci offers the best description that I have heard of my state of being, cosmic loneliness. A deep sense of unworthiness, paired with utter confusion about the circumstances of my life and no real experience being connected to others had left me in a dismal lost state of separation from humanity. What it is to be intimate and connected to someone who really sees me and choses me was an experience I believed I would never have in this lifetime.