Nothing Is Going To Save You
I thought a BIG career would save me. If I could just break through and make the salary that was waiting for me on the other side then I could exhale. I thought six pack abs would also save me. I would run and lift and eat chicken breast after chicken breast knowing that the results of all this work would really mean something. I thought a boyfriend would save me. I went on date after date after date waiting for the right guy to rescue me from this nauseating social pattern. But no matter how successful I got, no matter how good I looked, and no matter how much he adored me ... I still felt like something was missing.
Truth is, I didn't need to be saved, except maybe from my thinking - and I was the only one that can save me from that. It wasn't until I accepted that no achievement, purchasable item, or accolade was going to increase my value that I began to feel at peace. As cliche as this might sound, the only way I am going to feel free is by turning within. When I started asking the question, "What is fueling my ambition?" I began to understand that I was operating from a feeling of unworthiness. I thought by achieving success and accumulating a bunch of stuff I could prove to the world that I deserved respect, adoration, and love.